death, part I

Finally got sick of the last two breakup posts. Now on to happier topics! Death.

Despite the title of this post, it is not morbid. I have thought about death several times today. It came up first thing this morning when I opened The Hidden Words of Baha'u'llah, a book I read from every day. I opened up the book randomly to a page I land on frequently, with the following passage:

O SON OF THE SUPREME! I have made death a messenger of joy to thee. Wherefore dost thou grieve? I made the light to shed on thee its splendor. Why dost thou veil thyself therefrom? - Baha'u'llah

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I have always thought of the death referred to here as a physical death - loss of a loved one or our own inevitable passing on. I'm not sure why, but today something clicked and I read it as death of ego and self. The death that we have to experience all the time in order to learn and reveal our nobility. Admittedly, I am prone to grieving the loss of comfort and control that I feel when I am being prepared for growth (see posts below). Yet every time a part of my ego/attachment/insecurity/fear truly dies, it leads to new growth and new life. I thought of a plant and how we lose the old leaves for healthy new ones to grow in.

This came at a period in my life where it seems as though everything is changing: friendships, confidence in institutions/economy, job security, parents, service. Today that passage comforted me a lot; helped me recognize how odd it is that I grieve something that is actually a bounty.

Doesn't mean I'm not going to be bummed out by tests - I definitely will. But! hopefully I'll see the reality of the situation a little more clearly.