what is UP with me?

I have been an emotional nutcase over the past two weeks. It sunk in yesterday when I was walking across the stone arch bridge at midnight crying and shaking my fists to the sky*. It wasn't just the psychotic display of emotion that alarmed me; it was the intense but fleeting feeling that I was losing control of my ability to handle minor tests.

Yesterday, the following things made me cry:

• A podcast about cannibalism
• The memory of a sad (and incredibly cheesy) scene in a movie
• Panic from having potentially lost my glasses (I found them in my gym bag after roaming around the stone arch bridge searching for them; hence the midnight freak out)
• Being told that a child misses me

The quirk is that all of this also struck me as hilarious. It's not that I'm sad, it's more like I have frequent moments of intense frustration, which partly subsides and leads to me laughing heartily at myself.

It may well have something to do with hormones and/or the food I've been consuming. I've rekindled my romance with espresso drinks, and I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the caffeine has made me more volatile.

*It was actually a beautiful night. Not a soul was around and I was in a snow storm that made the skyline foggy and luminescent.